The Pen and Book Files

 January 7, 2020 Each day starts the same now. I wake up, trying to figure out what is happening and where I am, as my brain wakes up slowly. My brain wakes up slower than my physical body; I lay in bed, trying to force my thoughts into a line.  It’s lounging in bed for a little while, followed by forcing myself out of bed and to get ready for my day. I would rather just talk online... talk to my best friend ... but I can’t get ready just by sitting in bed. The knowledge that I can keep talking to her later is what drives me to get dressed and eat breakfast.  We try and talk as much as we can. I don’t think it’s an obsession; I think it’s a real, deep connection. We were talking yesterday afternoon, just like most days. I had a web browser open in the background, shifting through things and answering roleplays. I saw the news article between 2 and 3 in the afternoon, while we were talking, but I didn’t process it. I thought people were just being over dramatic, because po...

 January 5, 2020 New discoveries are just around the corner. I can feel the change in the air, a silent observer that I know will come to light.  There have been too many changes in this past year. I know that things are not the same, and I am searching for the familiar things in this world.  I have games; Genshin Impact is an outlet for my feelings, my anger at the world. Hilichurls are not real, nor are Abyss Mages or the Cryo Regisvines that I loathe so much. I would never hurt anyone. I love to play Genshin, especially with friends. Games are more fun when you play with friends.  The other games I have do not offer the same satisfaction; none of them are available in multiplayer mode. I have to play alone, and I feel alone in these situations. I crave human company in a way that was not present before, and playing alone offers none.  When I can talk to others, I am happy. I want to make these connections, and improve on the ones I have.  I want to disco...