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First Entry

April 6, 2020

    This problem started far away. Over seven thousand miles away, to be exact. The news fell on deaf ears, because our ears had to be deaf. China has never trusted us, so why would we trust news coming out of there? The problem was only theirs, until it wasn't.
    After the problem was no longer just theirs, it still seemed far away. Sure, Italy had rising cases now, and so did France and Britain. But the numbers almost seemed to reflect off an invisible barrier, because they were still so far away from where we are. Most of the students in my classes were all over the news by this time, fanning the flames of worry and fear.  How long will this last, they asked. Will it affect us? Will the district close? The answer was no, at least at the time. Europe was a whole different world from here.
    Soon enough, though, it wasn't. Cancellations of concerts and conventions began to run rampant, but I couldn't let the fear worm inside of my heart. If I allowed the fear in, it wouldn't come out. The nightmares would infect my waking life until I couldn't even define myself anymore. After the first cases in the United States were confirmed, suddenly my world of pretending no longer seemed a possibility. Cracks were spreading across what had once been a safe haven, where I could lie to myself and say the problem was too far away to affect me. My hole of ignorance was a shallow one now, replaced by a small space for  my hope to curl up inside. 
    It's been just over three weeks now. The first days were hard, but that isn't to sy these current ones aren't. Moments and hours are no longer distinct, instead blurring together into unreadable words. When will this end? Will the world still look the same? There are things that it's not impossible to do, things that you wouldn't have been able to imagine life without. In the past, you could eat in a restaurant any day of the week. Now, all of those places are merely shuttered doors. If you want to go into town, you have to have a good reason. Luxury trips just for one or two things you want aren't an option anymore.     Imagine being confined to a space that you could leave at any time before. Your life has been disrupted, normalcy exploding into bubbly foam. I don't know when normal will come back now. Normal is a half-formed fever dream. 

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